she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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