I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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