So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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