My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
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I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
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I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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