My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Holy shit dude........stairs
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize