uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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