I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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