So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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