I'm so fucking centered right now
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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