Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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