Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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