If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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