dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I just found puke in my bra..
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize