There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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