still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
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I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
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I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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