Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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