does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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