Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
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you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
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IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
The air taste purple.
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