why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize