I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize