OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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