Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
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Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
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In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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