I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize