12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize