I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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