I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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