Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize