i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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