Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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