Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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