i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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