i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize