Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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