someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
okay pat passed out under dana's car
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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