he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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