I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize