we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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