So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize