I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize