That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
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I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
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