just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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