He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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