barbara walters just said penis...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize