Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize