Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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