i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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