Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
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Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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I want to fling myself into the sun
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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