My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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