Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize