I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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