it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
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Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
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Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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